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6:54 PM / Thursday January 20, 2022

24 Jan 2020

Divine Muva Diva: The bone carriers

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January 24, 2020 Category: Commentary Posted by:

Dear Lovies:

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Divine Muva Diva

We have all heard the sayings,  “You can’t trust everybody with everything” and “Everything ain’t for everybody.” But yet, out of guilt, fear or just talking too diggety dang much, we often shoot ourselves in the foot by over sharing our goals and dreams with the wrong people.

The painful lessons that result from said over sharing often come in the form of losing friends who despise your drive and determination, and then counter it with negativity and sabotage.  

So what are we to do?

Learn to move like a ninja. 

How do you do that, you ask?

Allow me to elucidate.

I am fiercely protective and careful of that which is near and dear to me. My children’s names are not uttered online, I almost never share the scope and depth of my work and most importantly, that man I now call husband was a phantom for the entire five years I dated him.

I wrote and spoke about him all the time, but he was known as the mysterious “Mister.” It became pretty easy to see who would quickly judge me and begin whispering behind my back (or so they thought) that he didn’t exist. One very brave somebody called my mother and told her I was making up stories about some non-existent man.

By the time I unveiled him on my own terms, it was exactly 30 days before we got married. Mouths were dropping all over the place, because all the assumptions that abounded about him were dead wrong. People are always looking to criticize that which they refuse to put their own work into. Relationships, careers, raising families and simply being a decent human being takes WORK.

I have also experienced putting my entire neck on the line to help large swaths of folks only for me to keep getting feedback that some people thought this and that about me. I had to silence them, because if the people bringing the bones to bury me didn’t have enough sense to shut that down, they didn’t deserve to be in my most sacred of spaces.

As a direct result, I continue to move like a ninja in certain aspects of my life, because I know not everyone will be happy that I work my fingers to the bone when I am fully enjoying the fruits and rewards.

One more thing — do not allow people to guilt you into dragging them like luggage to your fruits party.  They too must work hard and sacrifice something, or you take their rocks out of your bags and lay them gently to the side.

So what are you over sharing in your spaces sacred or otherwise? Take inventory, see who the detractors are and then tell them to cease and desist. Your very success or failure may depend upon it. Because love bugs, everything truly ain’t for everybody.

Be well,

Diva

Disclaimer: 

The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the article belong solely to the author, and not necessarily to the author’s employer, The Philadelphia Sunday SUN, the author’s organization, committee or other group or individual.

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