11:25 PM / Monday January 30, 2023

26 Apr 2019

Mirror, Mirror…

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April 26, 2019 Category: Commentary Posted by:

I am a keen observer of people, and as such, can usually pick up on behaviors, while they (people) think they are playing the civilized games expected of them.

Our body language and eyes speak volumes long before we open our mouths.

So, for months now, l’ve been observing something that made me take a pause for the cause and hone in.

There are so many people who will ingratiate themselves to what they perceive to be power, as they think influence will open the doors attached to said power.

What too many fail to realize is that influencers did not become such without hard work and great intuition. So while they may be kind and listen when a new person is brought their way, they know almost instantly if the person is about nothing, and handle themselves accordingly.

It is also interesting to watch some with power, who are secretly thrilled to have what l call “adoring pets,” whose strings they can and will pull to remind themselves just how powerful they are. If l have to wag my tail and hang my tongue out in adoration every time l see you, I am going in the other direction, because I walk on two legs, not four, and if you are always the one correcting people’s behaviors without being able to look at where your own may need some adjusting, I would dare say some introspection is needed. 

If different people are saying the same key things that continue to puzzle and annoy you, you are the common denominator, and you may want to take a look at making some adjustments. Being stiffnecked leads to the headache of constantly having surface relationships across the board.

Humility is an action word too many fail to grasp, and between the powerful and the one craving power, a potent and disingenuous cocktail develops that explodes over time.

So allow me the grace and space to say this: While the one seeking power can sit around awaiting the crumbs the powerful MAY allow them to have from the hems of their hallowed garments, you can gain your own sense of power and freedom by working first on WHO you are, (core character traits), WHAT you have to uniquely offer the world, (passion, purpose, gifts) then go about doing just that daily, until it becomes your niche and is second nature.

Nothing amazing comes from mediocrity.

When given unearned power and influence, it also ends up being the very thing that destroys. Having to constantly have one’s ego inflated is a dangerous drug of the mind that ultimately leads to compromising oneself.

Just look around you; there is evidence of such in the news of once-powerful people who found themselves disgraced.

If we pay attention to those in your sphere long enough, a clear pattern emerges. People are drawn to vibrations of warmth and a genuine spirit.

That requires maturity; not the kind that comes with age, because let’s go ahead and face it, there are way too many “seasoned” folks who are immature in ways that frightens the senses!

The kind of maturity I am speaking of comes from checking ourselves, challenging our assumptions, judgements and insecurities, which leads to owning our “stuff,” doing the work to be better, and choosing not to project the madness onto others. Continued and sustained introspection is key.

Shutting down, blocking people, and getting an attitude are temporary band-aids, while the wounds continue to fester. That is the behavior of a four-year-old in an adult body.

We must grow up emotionally. It must be a daily choice. Do not think for a second that those feelings won’t show up when your patience is being tested and tried. Open and honest communication yields so much more, and at the very least teaches the lessons that are to be learned so we can move on.

Look at who is drawn to us consistently. Their character traits are what people see when they look at us.

The bottom line is simply this: People reflect back to us who we are, so always check the person in the mirror first and always. 


The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the article belong solely to the author, and not necessarily to the author’s employer, The Philadelphia Sunday SUN, the author’s organization, committee or other group or individual.

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