Image

10:42 PM / Tuesday May 17, 2022

29 Nov 2019

Divine Muva Diva, week of Dec. 1

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
November 29, 2019 Category: Commentary Posted by:
Divine Muva Diva

Dear Lovies:

It pained Muva’s heart to get the following question:

“What advice do you have for a mother whose adult child has not spoken to her in over a year?”

After I clutched my pearls until they gave up and fell apart to the ground, I took a deep cleansing breath. Recognizing that parents aren’t perfect people, I responded to Mom and asked a few pointed questions such as did she eat one of the grandchildren? The response I received confused me even further, because it seems from Mom’s account, her adult child is upset because Mom failed to take her health more seriously.

So, I get it to a point. My siblings and I worry constantly about our aging parents’ health, and we work as a team to be certain all needs are met and Drs. appointments are kept. We check in to be certain they are living comfortably and want for nothing. While we get incredibly frustrated at times, we would not in a million years stop speaking to them, and go further to avoid being seen with them publicly. Family dynamics can be delicate consideringall the intricacies that go back generations, and so my advice to Mom was this — keep praying for her child, no matter what it may feel like right now, and keep  the doors open, literally and figuratively, for when the moment comes that they may want to communicate.

Image

To those among us who are upset with parents for whatever the reason — do not find yourself steeped in regret. Holding a grudge, thinking you have all the time in the world to let it go, may backfire on you.

Open the door a tiny bit, because no matter how offended you may be, that is still the parent that brought you into the world. Neither one of you can live forever, and life’s trivialities are easily solved when we seek first to understand instead of being understood.Let me tell you what I know for certain — wailing over a casket after the fact solves nothing. At the very least, come to a clearing of the air; choose what works best for your mental state, and move on with your life, if an amicable solution can’t be found.

We are too old and grown to be holding grudges like a favorite stuffed animal from childhood.

We can do better.

Until next time lovies,

Be well.

Disclaimer

The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the article belong solely to the author, and not necessarily to the author’s employer, The Philadelphia Sunday SUN, the author’s organization, committee or other group or individual.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Leave a Comment

Recent News

Stateside

10 dead in Buffalo supermarket attack police call hate crime

May 15, 2022

Tweet Share Pin Email Photo: YouTube screenshot/AP channel By CAROLYN THOMPSON, JOHN WAWROW, MICHAEL BALSAMO and DAVE...

Education

Community College of Philadelphia hosts 2022 commencement ceremony 

May 13, 2022

Tweet Share Pin Email ABOVE PHOTO: Graduates pose during last week’s first full, in-person graduation ceremony since...

Diaspora

New reparations focus: Black enclaves lost to development

May 13, 2022

Tweet Share Pin Email ABOVE PHOTO: A wall with a mural separates a housing development, top, from...

Politics

Democrats’ effort to secure Roe v. Wade falls to filibuster

May 13, 2022

Tweet Share Pin Email ABOVE PHOTO: Anti-scaling fencing blocks off the stairs to the Supreme Court, Tuesday,...

Week In Review

Daunte Wright’s mother detained after recording traffic stop

May 13, 2022

Tweet Share Pin Email ABOVE PHOTO: Katie Wright holds the hand on her injured wrist before a...

Color Of Money

The hidden cost of debt on your mental health and tips to overcome

May 13, 2022

Tweet Share Pin Email BPT May is Mental Health Awareness Month and one of the biggest factors...

The Philadelphia Sunday Sun Staff