5:32 AM / Monday October 26, 2020

8 Oct 2020

Divine Muva Diva: Dangerous Meanness

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October 8, 2020 Category: Commentary Posted by:

Dear Love Bugs:

Divine Muva Diva

Allow me to preface this article by stating the obvious — I do not know everything, cannot solve everything and I am still learning, sometimes moment by moment.

What I do instinctively know is this — when you spend your very existence choosing to participate in major shifts that ultimately become all about yourself, the price for that is incalculable.

Let me stop speaking in parables and tell you what’s brewing in my mind.


There was once a phenomenal person who took it upon themself to bring a solid vision that supported young people to life, and has had some successes with said vision.

Almost immediately, though, despite being supported by large swaths of people and organizations so this vision could continue to grow and bear fruit, this person alienated many by dismissing their efforts and making it all about themself, and, that they did all the work, etcetera.

This person was also mean spirited, cold, and nasty in a way that left a bad taste, and folks began walking away. They never returned.

What was even scarier, though, were the “yes” foot soldiers who saw all of this happening but said nothing and continued to support the mission despite the abuse, because it was one that supported and empowered impressionable minds.

The problem with that? When you leave that kind of behavior unchecked, it becomes a monster. Now, even those impressionable young minds were complaining about being marginalized and emotionally abused at the hands of this leader, and parents began questioning the meaning of it all.

So, I am speaking now not just to self-serving leaders, but those who follow them  even to their own peril. Be incredibly careful, because nothing you put into the universe comes back to you void. You will find no peace until you make right the behaviors that continue to destroy from the inside what looks glorious on the outside.

Followers, find your center, do your work with intention and speak up when you see your leadership going down a path that is not healing.

Your silence is not golden, and you should never fear anyone to the point where you cower and continue to allow the dismantling of fragile children to keep the peace.

Because at the end of the day, the stifling of what is right to be likable or not rocking the boat because you don’t want that level of meanness aimed your way, means you, too, will be held accountable for those lives — one way or another.

So, what is it going to be?  The price to pay is too steep and there will come a day when you will have to balance that account.

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