The year 2020 is here, and as I watched people speak of their resolutions and what 2019 meant for them, I continued to beat the drum that we are only as good as we think we are.
When we speak negatively all the time about our circumstances or about those within our spheres, all we are doing is inviting the negativity to stay and reside with our souls, which leads to very little forward movement. On the other side of our fears — and our disillusion with life in general — we watch others who are taking charge of their lives daily, with amazing results.
The difference here is that the successful people see the problems and either solved what they could or decided to not allow it to destroy them by finding other pathways with great results. That, then, led to them gaining strength to keep moving forward as they move through the fear.
Quite frankly, they spoke life in a different way, which is incredibly valuable over time. It is a lesson I taught my sons early on that — if they have a problem, they need to come to me with possible solutions to said problem.
At first, they thought I was the meanest mother on earth, but right around the ages of 9 through 11, something clicked, and they began thinking critically without much effort. One of my sons has three dogs that he loves dearly, and so when the leg of one got caught in a closing door and broke horribly, he called me in tears, not knowing what to do.
I told him to take the dog to the veterinarian, and we would go from there.
The news only got worse. The dog needed surgery, and it would cost a total of almost $10,000 between that and physical therapy, and he was told to put the puppy down or try to take out a loan. Because my son had always been responsible with his money, he used his excellent credit score to pay for it all without hesitation, cut back on anything extra, paid the entire bill off, and that puppy remains a bright and happy part of his family.
It was in that moment that he realized that paying his bills on time even when he had very little and living within his means came full circle for him.
He has lived his entire life this way; taking the lemons to make lemonade, and removing any negative chatter in his head.
For you, it may not be a beloved pet, but the point is this; what we put our energies into is what we get in this life.
Our life is never about the things that happens to us, but rather, how we choose to navigate around them. We stay stuck in the story like a broken record, when all it takes, is for us to tap the needle into another groove.
Look around you and ask the people that seem to have it all going for them what their secret sauce is. They will tell you without pausing that they chose how to manage their lives by not feeding into negativity and finding light wherever possible in mentors, family, and faith.
It sounds so simple, because it really is. Ask yourselves, then, why is it okay to stay complacent in the hurt and never ending pain, and why do we spend so much time complaining about that which we cannot change? What is the payoff? Is it really working for you? It takes way too much energy to carry these facades that are versions of yourselves when simply embracing that which is authentic and alive in you leads to a pathway of enlightenment and growth beyond stagnation.
When we stop giving people permission to run roughshod over our emotions while holding them hostage in our heads is the day we will fully begin to thrive and live.
I challenge you to do something daily — choose hope, change, determination and light, and find faith to anchor your souls, so that you can fully embrace what remains of your life.
Otherwise, five years from now, you will still be stuck because your narrative of blame and shame never became one of growth and moving on.
Happy New Year!
Disclaimer: The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the article belong solely to the author, and not necessarily to the author’s employer, The Philadelphia Sunday SUN, the author’s organization, committee or other group or individual.
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