Dear Maxx: I Wanna Know What Love Is…
You grow up believing Romeo & Juliet’s love story was real. And guess what…it was! Every young girl wanted her Romeo and knew he would come someday. Then you wake up one morning and find yourself sleeping with a married man or in a same sex relationship and afraid to tell anyone about it. That’s a far cry from the Romeo & Juliet love story I remember. They shouted their love from the rooftop.
But then again, they were both single, so they could. You can hide lust and sex an even love. But you cannot hide true love! Divorce stats and women to men ratios have made us turn the other cheek to finding Romeo & Juliet love.
Some people believe we don’t choose who we fall in love with because love deals with matters of the heart and you can’t control who you love. Sure you can! The heart and the brain have a great relationship if you let them. The minute the heart says “he hits me because he loves me” is the minute the brain says “hell no”! Your mind is your back up. It knows right from wrong. Your heart makes decisions based on feelings and your mind makes decisions based on sensibility.
Use your head to protect your heart from relationships with married people and from following love trends because it’s the latest fad. Don’t believe all the love stories you see on TV and read about on celebrity gossip sites. Some of them are for entertainment purposes only. Love can be real for all of us the minute we decide the love we want and the love we are willing to give in return.
I fell in love with a man 10 years ago when I was coming out of my marriage. We dated for many years and in the end we parted ways for 3 years. We reconnected a year ago when he was fresh off the altar; just gotten married a few months before. We met for dinner and the rest is history. We have been seeing each other ever since. I wouldn’t call it dating or in a relationship because he is married.
During this time we created a business together and now that I want out of the relationship, I am afraid of the legal ramifications of this profitable business venture. I don’t want his family, my family or our friends to find out about any of this, so I would like to dissolve this situation quietly and quickly.
But he is not having it at all! What should I do? How should I do it? I want out but I want my business! HELP!
All Out of Love
Dear All Out of Love,
First of all, I am glad you made the decision to stop seeing this married man. That is definitely a step in the right direction. As for the business venture, there are only two ways to resolve that issue, publicly or privately. I’m not sure which part he is not in agreement with, but I will assume it’s neither. He doesn’t want to lose you and you don’t want to lose the business.
You can take the legal route, but it will become public which is what you are trying to avoid or you can present him with a buyout plan and try to keep it quiet. Either way if he is working from an emotional state, neither of those options may work.
But do not stay in that relationship just to keep the business. That would not be a good business decision. The alternative is to walk away completely and possibly start another business venture on your own. Sometimes our freedom comes with a price and in this case if you want it quickly and quietly, then your only option may be to walk away and leave it all behind.
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